It’s been a minute. After my brother’s passing, it’s really taken the wind from my sails, I guess you could say. I’ve definitely had depression, there is no doubt there. It’s been hard for me to get the drive to post anything about my life. The day we closed on our home was the day my brother passed away. It took all the joy and enjoyment I should have had of purchasing our first home away. Shortly thereafter we got our Kia Telluride as well and it just didn’t…hold anything.
My brothers and I after a Dodgers game, Billy, the taller one that passed under my arm.
Our new home:
He’s definitely left this massive hole/gap. I know there is nothing I could possibly say about death that hasn’t been said by someone, by somewhere. It’s just “weird” not having “that” person there anymore. He really was one of my best friends. I loved him dearly.
I turned to online MMO computer gaming. It consumed me…bad. My poor kids and wife. What I didn’t do at work, I spent time gaming. The gaming drug of choice became “New World”. I’d spent anywhere from 6-12 hours a day, spending as little as 30 minutes with my wife and kids. This went on for about 4-5 months after his passing. It became my coping mechanism. To be someone else, somewhere else…in fantasy land. Where I controlled who lives and dies. Naturally, at the back of my head, I had this nagging feeling that I knew this was consuming me. Taking a toll not just on me but my wife and kids too. I had to quit. So I did, early Feb. ’22. Crazy thing? Amazon is one of my clients at work I do Analytics for. I am literally helping them with their Analytics for this game and games like Lost Ark.
Onwards…I reconnected with a long-lost cousin (my first cousin, once removed), by the name of Steve. I have soo thoroughly enjoyed our conversations. What a truly refreshing breath of air. The crazy part is I believe he came across me and reconnected with me from the speech I gave at my brother’s funeral (he found it on a shared relatives page). Out of sorrow, some beauty does arise. I think of those movies where there has been a severe tragedy or heartache and then the camera pans to the rising of a new dawn…with the sun breaking the horizon to the freshly dewed grass, newly blooming flowers. Life goes on. He understands heartache and he understood my sorrow as well. I understood it when Steve said he didn’t ever want to attend another funeral ever again. I understand, completely. Whether he realizes it or not, he’s been an unknowing therapist (even if we’re talking about random stuff and the world at large) that and his band. I needed that. It couldn’t have come at a better more needed time in my life as well. I fully plan to visit Steve and some of our other extended family in Arizona in the next little while and just talk about our Grandparents. Maybe even the old times.
My cousin Steve & I after my mom brought me to visit my grandpa and first uncle.
In other news, I got a nose job. It’s been a healing process, I will tell you that. The main goal has been to breathe better. I’ve had challenges with it (my nose) since a crash I was in around a decade ago in my Scion xB. I fell asleep while driving home one day and woke up in the back of an ambulance in a neck brace. The first thing I asked was… “what happened”. Paramedic “you’ve been in a car accident”. Next thing I asked “did I hurt anyone else?”, Paramedic “no”. I passed out. Luckily all that happened was my broken nose from the airbag and a lacerated neck from the seat belt.
Well, this nose surgery has fixed it all. The surgery I got is called a “Functional Butterfly Rhinoplasty”.
Before picture:
After Picture:
Ukrainian War. Man. I really, really hope this doesn’t into WW3. I support everything we’re doing and trying to do over there to help. I have an uncle that was in Kyiv. I am glad he was able to get out. Even though I’ve had a difference of opinion with him on some stuff, I don’t want to see him in harm’s way. With war ever-looming, it definitely has brought out the prepper in me.
Last subject. Still kickin’ away at HalCo. We’re doing our BEST to get a new driver hired. I’ve made it a personal goal of mine to get us one hired on by May ’22. We’re up to 3 trucks now. Still looking to get more and more loads moving. Updated our site as well:
https://halcotrucks.com/