William “Billy” Mark Halstead 09/20/93 – 6/30/21
Man, I was just playing softball with my brother a few weeks ago. Seems too unreal. I still don’t feel like his soul is gone.
He got to meet my little girl. This was the first time. The only time. At least he got to do that. She got to meet her uncle one time at least.
I don’t even know where to go/what to think about this all. My life has been on hold since it happened. I like keep expecting to hear his voice. Looking at his messages. Seeing recent videos of him smiling and laughing.
I spoke at his funeral and it destroyed me.
Eulogy/Talk
Thank you all for coming today to remember my brother William (Billy).
My name is Alexander, but I go by Alex, I am William’s oldest brother and I knew and loved my brother from a tough-love perspective, always and forever.
To be forward, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, so bear with me through this. I didn’t follow a conventional form in writing this and this is both a Tribute and a bit of Eulogy combined.
Going back, I was 11 when my brother first came into this world on September 20th, 1993, in Beaver UT, with his twin Brooke. The very first thing I remember thinking/asking while sitting in that delivery waiting room for my mom/dad was, “when I could play with him?” I was soo excited to have a little brother.
Now don’t get me wrong, I was excited to have another sister too (William is a twin if you didn’t know and Brooke was/is his twin), however, William was my first brother. As many of you know, I have two brothers, William and Tommy, however for the sake of this talk, I will refer to “him”, my little brother, William as Billy, specifically.
When Billy was born, it was something different for me. I’d grown up at this point with two Sisters, Kristina, and Vanessa. Not that you can’t play sports with your sisters or rough house with them too (and I did, or correction, we did), but I felt a little more excited to have some testosterone that I could order and bully around or throw a football with and baseball with and wrestle with or share dating secrets with (again, you can do that with sisters too, don’t get me wrong).
My little brother was always, always all in my business. As soon as he could crawl, scoot, walk, mumble and talk he found his way to me and my room. One of my favorite memories of him, when he was young, was him not leaving me alone after repeatedly asking him to stop opening my door at around the age of 5-6 years old, I hung him by his underwear from my door handle and called everyone to see (and of course he was laughing/giggling).
He was a very, very smart kid from a very early age as well. I remember in first/second grade I taught him literally all the math that I had known at the time (all the way up to basic algebra concepts and he was starting to grasp that too). He was bored with school easily, however, which made it a challenge for him, not because it was hard, but because it didn’t keep his attention in the way he needed it to.
Even before getting to middle school, I was sneaking him into Hardcore shows (think really loud heavy metal, but more brutal, and I didn’t really have to sneak him because I knew the venue promoters) and getting him into the pit (not for the faint of heart, for those in the know). Everyone knew him as he didn’t sit on the sideline as a wallflower. He wanted a piece of it and he got in there and took his chances of getting kicked and punched along with everyone else (and if don’t believe me, I got videos). He was loved by people quickly and not just because he was my little brother.
Fast forward a little.
Even though he didn’t graduate high school (although he basically had the credits to) he still got his diploma with relative ease, just to prove that it really was well within his realm of knowledge, understanding (or below him for that matter). He didn’t even have a reason for getting it either, just to have it. He didn’t have a job waiting on it, or anything like that, or to impress a girlfriend.
Billy loved to travel and loved the West coast. Over the years I had him live with me on and off. He worked sales jobs and, in particular, liked selling alarms and solar panels. He was VERY good at it. He got to travel to many different states & cities all over the United States selling both. Although, he didn’t stick with one job for long, it is the one type of job he did come back to often.
Billy’s life was like the song from Sublime, “What I Got”. The lyrics and vibe of the song resonate when I listen to them, if you get a chance, give it a listen. It was how he lived, it puts a smile on my face. Honestly, I couldn’t even tell you if he even liked the song (I can’t remember at least), but boy did he embody that vibe.
I don’t ever recall him ever holding onto any single possession, for long that is. And I think that was because he was soo giving and on the move. My brother, literally, would give you the shirt off his back if you asked for it. He didn’t stay in one place for long because he had a smile to share and a story to tell and boy did he have stories.
He knew people, lots of people. He networked. He had no reserves when he came to learn about you. And once he got to know you, he’d sell you to others. He’d sing your praise. He’d embarrass me as I am sure he has done to some of you, talking me up to complete strangers, but that was out of pure love.
In remembrance of my brother, over the past few weeks, I’ve come to the realization of a few things. As I’ve chatted with some of you, some of you may be carrying some form of guilt on how they left their relationship with my brother. Don’t. I am standing here, as you are sitting there, in remembrance of the good times we had, together (with him). My brother didn’t always tell me everything, but he told me the stuff that mattered. He came to me for the big decisions in life. He confided in me when he was at forks or had big decisions and choices to make. I knew him on a brotherly, hard-nosed level. I loved him and he loved me as he did all of you. He forgave and forgot quickly.
Don’t carry that burden of regret. It will age you before your years. Remember William for that smile of his and that contagious laugh. As his big bro, that’s what I know he’d want.
Thank you,
One last little poem.
By, MELISSA FOX-AUSTIN, titled “Remember Me“
There was a slide show my cousin put together as well, Paul, that he did amazing on. In particular, there was a song, this song:
I am not going to be able to ever hear this song again, the same.
Rest in peace brother. We will never forget your love.
